Date Etiquette
Before our date
Anticipation and nervous shivers…
Make your first contact and leave a good impression; all of the information you should include can be found on my contact form. Pay your deposit, mark me down in your diary with something mysterious, like “ginger tea” or “oral dictation”, for fun.
Take a shower and brush your teeth; you can freshen up in my shower when you get to my place if you’re coming over, and I’ll have mouthwash available too. I hate to be brash, but wash your balls, butt, and genitals thoroughly; pull back your foreskin and use plenty of soap. I do not want to have to send you back to the shower. I only expect clients to trim their body hair neatly, there is no need to shave entirely, and in fact I prefer it if there isn’t any scratchy stubble! Dress neatly; you don’t have to be in a full suit (though I will never object), just in clothing that is clean and well maintained. Don’t dress all the way up if that isn’t you - I value authenticity and originality, and this date is about you being your genuine self. You’ll find it easier to relax if you feel at home.
Please ensure that your accommodation is clean; I don’t mind general untidiness, but it is only fair to expect that I won’t be attending a dirty abode.
If you have a disability, permanent medical device, allergy, or medical condition that I should know about, now is the time to let me know. If you have any suspicious lumps or bumps, please inform me so that I can make a decision about whether to reschedule; I don’t penalise honesty and concern for health and safety. Please also give me a message if you feel like you’re coming down with the flu, and especially if you have symptoms of the spicy cough (COVID-19). I really don’t want to get sick, and I have a responsibility to my immunocompromised clients to be as careful as possible.
I know you’re really excited, but please try to keep the back and forth messaging to a minimum! I find it quite distracting and it interrupts my other bookings and activities. While I enjoy your presence, please don’t put me in the uncomfortable position of asking you not to send constant messages.
During our date
In my bed and between my legs…
Pop the money in an envelope in my view before you shower, or after I arrive. This step needs to be completed first to save on awkwardness later. Allow me some privacy to tuck it away. If I ask you to shower, please do not start telling me you did it before you left home, because the answer will always be an awkward, ‘please do it again’. Don’t put your clothes back on after the shower!
Keep an eye on the time; I will as well, but make sure that you don’t get too carried away chatting or before you know it, it will be time to leave and we will still have our clothes on! I’ll try to keep you on track, but this is your time and I don’t want to push you into anything or make you feel rushed, especially if you’re nervous. We are all adults here, so I expect there to be plenty of extremely immature giggles and first date nerves among the gasps of pleasure.
Dates of two hours or more require refreshments, and anything four hours or more needs a meal, so have funds or food on hand. Make sure you have still water available at a minimum if I’m visiting you! I do drink alcohol, but not every date and not to excess.
Public displays of affection are quite awkward no matter who you are! I ask my clients to keep their hands to themselves while we are out in public, and to save the other things for our private time. I don’t hold hands or kiss on the mouth while we’re around others. While we are in private, you are absolutely free to put your hands on me, I just ask that when I need personal space (like when I’m using the bathroom) that it’s respected. If we’re spending a lot of time together (24 hours plus), I ask for an hour or two of personal time to exercise, meditate, send messages to loved ones, and check my emails. You probably have these needs too, and I’m sure you don’t want to be hovering while I’m doing my fifty step skincare routine.
If our date includes sleeping time, cuddles are strongly encouraged, but initiating sexual activity while I’m asleep is not allowed; people who are asleep cannot consent. I need at least six hours of uninterrupted sleep, and so do you; we will both feel far more refreshed come morning. When we wake up, definitely allow me to refresh in the bathroom before initiating anything; it is expected that you will want to do this too, and I certainly prefer a distinct absence of morning breath.
After our date
After the only thing left is the ruffled sheets, flyaway hair, and afterglow…
If you want to leave a review, I only ask that you try to stay away from review boards with misogynist and dehumanising undertones. I understand that as I’m in a service industry, I am not exempt from reviews, but I prefer them to keep the terrible erotica to a minimum and for them not to contain personal details. Respect and discretion goes both ways; I’ll be sure to refrain from writing dreadful erotica too.
You might want to spend a little time reflecting on our encounter. Was there something I did that you particularly liked? Is there something I mentioned that you might want to try, whether in or out of the boudoir? Do you want our next encounter to be a little longer? I love reflecting on my dates, as I find it helps me to savour the experience a little more deeply.
Until we meet again!